Tell the world what you care about, it will make the world care too

I don’t want to sound a cunt here… I had to go to A&E tonight, well actually I went at half 3. I rang the community mental health team- no answer got a call back, we haven’t assigned a new worker to you, yes I’m aware of that. But I need to see someone. Well you could ring the crisis team. Well I need prevention so I don’t go into crises.

Crises line- yeah, erm they shouldn’t of told you to call us, can you call them back. You know they a ridiculous, to be honest though everyone is leaving.

Yeah I’m aware of that mate I fought for 3 years for a worker I’ve had 2 that I’ve seen once and now none since November.

Yeah, I seen how you have been messed about, they are failing you terribly. You could refer yourself to the crises cafe, as your under CMH, they open at 8.

Yeah I kinda just need to speak to someone I think I may have been triggered subconsciously, and I just want to nip it in the bud before it goes into a episode.

Your very aware of it.

Well you kinda have to be mate.

You know you have to cause a shit storm to get looked at.

Excuse me?

You need to complain. Have you wrote to your MP?

Yeah I did that when I went toe to toe with the ombudsman. My psychiatrist told me CMH is not fit for purpose and asked me to write to him.

I would also write to complaints and compliments.

I bet they haven’t had many compliments.

I don’t want to get my psychiatrist in trouble, in fact I don’t want to get anyone in trouble- well barring the cunt that tried changing my diagnosis and wrote a report that sounded like it was someone else he was interviewing. But I’m over that.

You won’t get her in trouble we just need more people to push and fight so he goes to the top. Erm, I would probably say your only option at this moment in time is A&E, I’m really sorry.

Don’t be it’s not your fault mate.

Right….. here we go…

Margaret – children part is there.
Oh I’m here for myself
Oh well he can’t be in here
Right what do you want me to do with him
Is there no one to look after him?
Well clearly not, as he wouldn’t be here would he.
I need to see mental health.
Ok as it’s mental health, he can stay. But your looking at a very long wait there has been a lot of emergency’s.
it’s just my increase in my tablets, I need reviewing I did try to call the CMH, I’m having bad anxiety attacks and I don’t want it to go into an episode, I’ve been in remission and I don’t really want to relapse.
She then puts her bright multi coloured glasses on squares.
I know it’s hard my husbend suffers.
Oh does he have this?
Well he is in a mental institution now.
Ok, sorry to hear that, look I need to wait outside it’s too busy in here.
Ok well make sure you come back, make sure your mum comes back. We will ring you when triage is ready.

Triage- I’m worried your blood pressure is very low.
I always have low blood pressure.
It’s very low.
Do you have chest pains?
Well yeah but it’s anxiety, and I think it may be triggered by this routine blood test thing the doctor said I have to have. I don’t want it to send me into a episode, so I just want to prevent it and make sure it’s not my meds, which if I could of seen my CMH worker.
Ok well we can’t send to mental health till we know your physically fit.
She is fit, she does yoga every day, she don’t drink or smoke anymore. She goes the gym and she eats 3 meals a day.
Right thanks luci.

Takes my bloods and the usual ESG, also trying send self tapes in between.
Your blood pressure is fine, your healthy.
Oh the other nurse said she is concerned about it.
Nope, if you normally have low blood pressure.
Well yeah, but it’s just she said…
Well if you can wait in the waiting room your bloods will be back in a hour, abs then you can wait for mental health
I’m going to sit in my car.
We will ring you when mental health come down.

Half way through a film…
Mum let’s go abd ask.
They said they would ring.
No let’s go abs ask:
Erm I was told I would be called but they was like 2 hours ago.
Oh mental health come down, we thought you had left.
let me call them- oh. I answer.

Mental health support worker-
Would you like to sit in here can I get you sandwich abd a cup of tea
Yes please I will have a tuna sandwich my mum will have tea with 2 sweeteners please.

Mum why didn’t they put you in here before.
Do you know when they will be down?
Well it’s a bit of a wait, yeah they said they 4 hours ago, the thing is I know what she is going to say. so now I know my bloods are ok, just tell her to put a note on that I had to come here cos CMH was passing me from pillar to post.

I think you should wait…

Yeah they ask the same questions and she’s not at risk of herself or others, she’s had a anxiety attack, but they sometimes can build in mania, so with her new meds we just want to prevent that from happening and well Julie can’t review her meds and also Julie can’t put her under home based treatment as she is under CMH, so the only thing Julie can do it ask those questions send us home and put a note on for CMH for her care worker, that she doesn’t have.

But if you just let Julie know, and I will have another tuna buttie.

If you could just wait to see Julie I’ve explained it all, abs she also thinks it’s been triggered with the bloods request, and I can confirm all your bloods are fine I did more then requested to put your mind at rest.

Luci let’s they turn over is at 8, which means Julie will now have to read the notes type up paper work and then once they have dealt with the ones in crises someone else will be down. It won’t even be this Julie now…

I mean I could go on….

So, I only just got home, I I asked about the waiting room for A&E mental health they promised last time I was there was being done. Yeah but we need more room, the problem is, we spend most of our days now in A&E dealing with mental health than anything else. We are so understaffed.

I really can not stress this enough, you can’t fight the nurses doctors mental health teams, they are so understaffed and under funded more so over the last 2 years. She said i onow you have been in this system a long time, I agreed which is why I got up and left because you end up feeling guilty needing help for prevention unless your in crises. Upsets me to think someone may be in full blown mania or tried to take their own lives and I need help to keep me out of that, so I leave. Hoping that I can try myself to not go into crises. I remember being in full blown mania left for 10 hours roaming around A&E I don’t want to be taking Julie time to stop me from going into that. But then it there was more staff they could have a department for prevention and that would then be less strain on A&E!

You know in the last 2 half months 4 medical mental health professionals have ask me to write to my MP, they have told me to put complaints in. Those are the workers saying this!

I think everyone should because it’s getting worse and worse. And weather you suffer or not, if one day you do or you have a loved one, you will
Have to fight and continue to fight for your rights to have help.

We can post about this shit all day every day, but if you really want to help, go to the fucking top and keep banging on the doors- It needs to be took the highest possible place in fucking parliament.

It’s bad, it’s in the worse state I have seen in 15 years. And trust me mental health will
Kill more people than COVID ever did if this carries on. It’s a fucking mental health pandemic but we won’t see this every night on the news!!

You want to help people or help yourself tell everyone you know to stand up. If you or your loved one, in fact fuck that if anyone, and trust me you will know at least one person trapped in this system- help make them make a change. You have to go toe to toe with this…

It’s not the staffs fault, most of them look like they are heading into crises. They can’t keep mental health workers longer than a couple months- ask yourself why… cos soon as they go into a job to
Help people, they are overstretched over worked and go home feeling like they are failing people and have the loss of lives on their hands. When in fact it’s absolutely not, it’s the funding.

I started with anxiety Sunday… I did everything right got 2 days to stop it. Yoga, gym, reading, writing. I still almost passed out in the kitchen today for what I thought was no reason at all, might be my meds might of been triggered. Fact is you only get seen in crises, risk to yourself or others. Nope not at this moment , Why does it have to even get to that. But it will if left untreated- I mean it won’t I’m ok, I will be ok but I will forever spend my life in and out of relapse and remission. But that could be so much less for me and others.

I’m telling you I have a good fucking psychiatrist once I’m stable for 12 months she will sign me off and then if I get ill it’s back to waiting list. I get anxiety thinking about not having her – cos I’m on meds that only she can prescribe.

And I don’t give two fucks if anyone reads this and thinks she harps on about it. Listen people that have never suffered before in their lives are sat in that waiting room right now! There was a man having his stomach pumped and one with a smashed face from Walking in front of a car. People are being wrongly diagnosed, people are being put on wrong meds and peoples fucking lives are sat on waiting lists! lying on stretches while a doctor is trying to save their life. Cos their doctor referred them to mental health but they can’t take any more into mental health or even see a psychiatrist, they are full, my own psychiatrist told me that, she had had referrals with people rhat haven’t been seen by mental health from the doctor, they have been on that list for over 2 years, they can’t see any more people. A doctor can’t prescribe you anti psychotics or lithium, and if you do get them off a psychiatrist you should always be seen every 6 months. I wonder how many of them survived who have been on a waiting list? Wrongly diagnosed, brushed off with anxiety tablets and anti depressants? I stayed off meds for a very long time for the reason as soon as they put me on them, they discharged me, give them a label and meds and leave them to it. Or don’t give them the right diagnosis and leave them with their life on a thread.

I’ve been told by a psychiatrist, a mental health nurse and a crises team worker – only way is the more people fight and not the workers in that system the ones at the ducking top with the funding! You know it’s a shit show when they tell you CMH is not fit for purpose….

Not everyone has the awareness to know they are getting ill till it’s too late…. Don’t let it be too late for you or anyone…

the MP for manchester is Graham stringer… the more that stand up the more we can at least try and fight to give people the prevention they need.

Anyway if you read this far thanks and i honestly don’t give two fucks if people are sick of hearing about it… the system is absolutely fucked worse it’s been since I was 15 years old. And I fought like fuck for 3 years for a mental health worker and I still ended up in A&E.

Many would say oh just give up on trying to change the system it’s pointless… let me ask you this

Is your life pointless is people you care about lives pointless. Is your children’s?

There 500 people on here who probably have 500 friends plus it’s one email, and we might not change it but let’s fucking try.

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