Praying when the ego gets too much β˜ΊοΈ

Today’s practice was a interesting one for me. It’s been a full day of reading and meditating. 

The time it came to take a bath with a glass of wine 🍷 I had the overwhelming feeling of I don’t feel all this practice I am doing is moving me forward. 

I come out of the bath and this is what I did I sat with my glass of wine on my cushion and I prayed. In fact it was more like me taking to my mate and straight away everything how I felt come out.

I then went straight into meditation I started with a mantra which is known to be one of the most powerful mantras for creativity and taking away negitivity.

Ek ong Kar sat gur prased. 

I started to feel lighter and more happiness straight away, then I sat in silence and I let the answers to my prayers come to me.

You see we get stuck in our ego minds even if you meditate every day and read every self help book under the sun we are human the ego is something we have to acknowledged daily. We have to absolutely bring an awareness to the thoughts and feelings because they are creating our reality. 

The ego holds onto things it always has to be right and it can really mask are true desires. As we know I am over sensitive so I feel out of alignment when this is happing and to be honest I have all day. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow when you actually think do i want this or is it my ego that wants this….. because the thing with the ego nothing is ever enough. 

You have to start to get really honest with yourself when the ego is becoming more of you then YOU!  It can fully take over and it will do almost anything to keep its strength. We naturally will try and fight it , the way sometimes we do this is holding on to past events and feelings. Whatever you choose to think in this monent is creating the next moment. 

The only way to change this and drop the ego is to pray and then sit in silence. Your body holds all of your emotions and until you allow them to move through you they will stay stuck and the energy will feed your mind and keep you in the same circle as before.

Those thoughts that keep you the same keep the situation the same keep that person the same are not serving you and they are keeping you stuck. 

You can’t just let go and forget because you need to bring a awareness to it you need to become the watcher of the thoughts and the emotions.

I am still very much learning I am far from perfect I am still in a siatuation with the same feelings and anxiety I had towards it a year ago. 

What’s the difference I take to my mat and cushion every day and when life gets too much and my ego is in full rage I pray and then I sit.

Whatever your struggling with whatever your mind is telling you the more you play into it talk about it or hold onto it the more or the same we will get.

Bring it into this moment right now where you are sat and listen really listen because when you do you hear something that’s true and you hear something that’s more aligned with your true desires. 

If tommorow it happens again then pray again and sit again and keep doing it every day…… I was hard on myself today I am teaching people and I am struggling myself I thought. 

Wrong I am going through it and learning and I will forever be learning.

Remember this…… the heart gets what it prays for the most 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Something to think about….

Probably would serve us all well this……. We begin to heal our judgments towards others when we accept people are our teachers in the classroom of life. Making that commitment allows us to look differently on our situations. Witness how we drag the past into the current moment, and then choose again to look at a person or situation as if you was seeing it again for the first time. Imagine how free you would be if you didn’t bring the past with you into your relationships or into every encounter. Every judgment and communication is either an extension of love or a call for love. Something to think about πŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ

Pray into the anxietyΒ 

Tonight’s practice 🎎 ‘pray into the anxiety’So many of us me included spend our lives with subtle undercurrents of emotions that we are not aware of. 
We spend years trying to just shake it off and push it away. ‘What you resist persist’
We look at something like anxiety and just want it to go instead of surrendering to it and let it be fully here. 
We look at anxiety that it shouldn’t be here and it needs to be repressed or fixed. Shouldn’t be feeling this it needs to go!
We look at all negative feelings and emotions of things that need to be overcome that we shouldn’t be feeling them. (Rebecca Campbell)  


If we sit with it and let it fully surface it looses its control, I have learnt this the hard way because I spent years and still do sometimes fighting it and I can tell you now you won’t beat anxiety if you try and go toe to toe with it. 
It’s not something you will learn in a day and to sit with it or any emotion that makes you feel uncomfortable make your meditation a million times harder. 
But think of it this way we either accept it and let it be fully here or we run from it and I don’t care if your bolt….. that bitch will catch you. 
So invite it in sit with it pray with it have a cup of tea with it. 
It needs your attention you need your attention 
Take the time 🎎🌟☺️❀️

Introducing me myself and bipolar BrendaΒ 

I have started this blog mainly to be able to write instead of letting my mind run away with me. The worse part of bipolar is when it manages to take over and you don’t feel anything but bipolar. See there is me then myself and bipolar Brenda. She’s part of me sometimes we get on great and other times she swallows me whole. I suppose you could say I have been swolled right up in the last 48 hours. It happens it’s one of those things i get that now. However I don’t think there is anything worse with being in your body and having no identification with yourself. I don’t want these posts to be pity party’s if anything I am doing it to watch my progress from being on the floor to the rise. So this is where I am at right now and for the last year I have been up and down more times than the lift a the crown court. Will I always be searching for the middle ground? What’s normal anyway.? No sunshine without rain and bla bla Bla. I love a quote more than anyone but as much a good postive quote can make you see things different for a day maybe it doesn’t stop the chemicals in your brain. I want to get to know me and myself I know Brenda very well. She’s out stayed her welcome this time I am on the hunt to spend some time with me. So here goes to the first day from full blown on the floor to tiny steps back. I can’t mak her go completely and deep down she’s part of me but I am eager for her to take a rest now. That’s a start isn’t it surely ☺️ Without hope what have we got. Ha couldn’t resist a cheesy quote to end on. πŸ˜‚ my aim with this blog is to use my meditation reiki kundalini and spritural practice to learn to live with Brenda….. I am still learning forever learning ❀️🌟🎎

‘When change comes knocking let it in’

Today’s practice…… ‘when change comes knocking let it in’πŸŒŸπŸ‘³πŸ½β€οΈJoined by my best mate πŸ‘ΆπŸ½
So it seems that I am not the only one having a tuff week the change of seasons have an effect on us all.
I was reading a book and I found this really interesting….

Spring brings hope and inspiration

Summer brings celebration and togetherness 

Autumn the falling and letting go 

Winter surrendering and resting. 
Now if you think about this every human has a problem with Change and letting go at some level and with busy lives we find it hard to take the time to rest. 
So the season we have come into is about change and letting go so naturally the ego will not like this season which subconsciously is having an effect on most of us. 
So tonight’s practice I wrote down everything I need to let go of…. (I know people

That know me will probably have a name in there head for me that would serve me well

To let go of) πŸ˜‚
Anyway I then took it into meditation and I sat with it visualising it falling away like the leaves off the trees. 
You feel like you want to have clear outs and change things in your home and etc. 
It makes senses when you look at what the seasons bring us and I think if we sit and look at what we are holding onto we should use this time as a positive time. At least try to anyway and trust that like the leaves that fall

From the tree we will get new leaves on our branches that are fresh and new. πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚πŸ‚
‘There is a whole world out there’